In which Dean Crimdon takes great liberties with songs he loves

Whole Lotta Poolie lyrics (as written by Phil Dunn)

I wanna tell you a story, about a monkey I know
When it comes to foolin’ around he really steals the show
Aint exactly pretty, aint exactly small
68, 91, 2003 he’s the greatest of them all (thats the promotion years)

Never met a monkey never met an ape like you
Doing all the things crazy little things you do
You’re the furry story eight foot tall and dark
Give it all you’ve got down at Victoria Park

Gotta Whole Lotta go man
You’re a Whole Lotta Show Man
You’re a Whole Lotta Poolie

Poolies you can do it do it all season long (hung the monkey who hung the monkey?)
Come on you Poolies sing a little H’Angus song
All through the first half, right till the whistle blows
Poolies never stop and everybody knows

Whole Lotta Rosie lyrics (as originally written by those Australian chaps AC-DC)

Wanna tell you a story’ bout a woman I know
When it comes to lovin’ oh, she steals the show
She aint exactly pretty She aint exactly small
42-39-56 You could say she’s got it all

Never had a woman, never had a woman like you
Doin’ all the things, doin all the things you do
Ain’t no fairy story Ain’t no skin-and-bones
But you give all you got, weighin’ in at nineteen stone

You’re a whole lotta woman A whole lotta woman
I gotta whole lotta Rosie

Honey, you can do, do it to me all night long
Only one can turn, only one can turn me on
All through the night-time Right around the clock
To my surprise, Rosie never stops